I Thought That I Could Not Be Cured

This is my counter to Sylvia Plath’s poem “I Thought That I Could not be hurt” and I decided to write this piece because I didn’t like the pessimistic outlook she portrayed throughout her poem. I’m a strong believer that one can only live their life to the fullest in the presence of companions, and that always being a pessimist drives people, even those who genuinely want to care for you, away. This poem was also partly inspired by the Polonius quote we read in class in which he says Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried, Grapple them unto thy soul with hoops of steel…” as I feel it highlights the foundation for all the relationships we forge or end throughout our lives.

Without further ado here is “I Thought that I could not be Cured:”

 

I Thought that I could not be Cured

 

I thought that I could not be cured

Of the endless pain and suffering I had endured;

Succumbing to darkness’s soothing allure,

I conceded that I was unholy and impure.

http://www.terriwindling.com/.a/6a00e54fcf7385883401b8d1876da2970c-pi

 

Life was filled with catastrophe and misery-

Mistakes raining down on me like artillery.

Everyday; another wall in this labyrinth called life

Designed to block me from my goals- cause me endless strife.

 

That was the universal truth,

One that I was convinced of since my youth-

That all good things must come to an end,

That nothing in life is worth the time we spend.

 

Friends that I had loved unconditionally,

Soon drifted away with no difficulty.

Ones that had sworn to stay by my side,

Soon didn’t reply, maybe out of pride,

 

To the desperate calls of my heart,

That foolishly believed in the phrase ‘till death do us part.’

But I had learnt my lesson, through great reflection

That not many in life desire to steer us in the right direction.

 

Yet there are those who we naturally connect with, those with true loyalty

Who will always care, the ones that make us feel like royalty.

These are the friends that should be tethered to your soul

The ones that make you feel like diamond rather than coal.

https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/683560866760015872/eAo4BDXQ_400x400.jpg

 

They are the stars in the darkness,

The light that protects us from the actions of the heartless.

They helped me navigate my labyrinth, so full of walls

With their caring, considerate and compassionate calls.

 

I thought that I could not be cured

I was destined to walk in loneliness, I self-assured.

But then I made friends that brightened my world

And soon after I realized that my life was beginning to pearl.

 

 

I stylistically I decided to use a different rhyme scheme (an AABB style) than Sylvia Plath because I believe that topics such as happiness and friendship should not be portrayed in a complicated manner; they are pure and universal; everyone who reads this piece, from children to adults, should be able to understand the underlying theme and connect with these motifs. Also throughout throughout her piece, Ms. Plath compared happiness to weak, delicate objects, such as fragile hearts and weak silk webs, but I see it more as a strong, universal truth, such as a single light in the dark or a bright star in the night sky. I look at happiness and friendship as values that are most evident during a time of pain, they are ideals that shine brightest when the world around us is dark.

This poem reflects my attitude throughout life and the values, those of friendship, happiness and love, which I hold close to my heart. I hope that you all find those one or two stars that will brighten your life, and when you do, I hope that you treasure them; because, life without friendship or happiness is not a life worth living.

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5 thoughts on “I Thought That I Could Not Be Cured

  1. Madhav,

    Wow, this was seriously an amazing piece, especially considering it was based off what many would consider quite a short poem. The lines transitioned into one another seamlessly and there was a clear distinction between the perspective represented at the start and at the end, similar both to Plath’s poem as well as a person’s shift in perspective they experience in life. As someone who is often pessimistic about myself and of others, the message you presented not only intrigued me, but was laid out in a manner in which I would be inclined to agree with you, which demonstrates how well this piece serves as a counter to the more negative tone of Plath’s “I Thought That I Could not be Hurt.”

    In terms of criticism, I feel like there is very little I could offer other than some minuscule grammatical errors. If you were to go through and fix some of those minor issues, I’d consider this piece to be near flawless.

    This poem not only works as a counter to Plath’s original as you intended, it also gives others a glance at your optimism and positive nature, a topic that few really delve into but is something we could all use a little more in our lives. I can’t wait to see what else you will come up with in the future.

    -Spencer

  2. Dear Madhav,
    I’m amazed by your ability to create another poem inspired by such an outstanding piece. You truly did justice to the original as yours is equally touching and emotional. The ideas within your writing emphasize the values you hold within your life and give us greater insight on your personality. Your use of pictures throughout the blog intrigues readers even more.

    One suggestion I would make for future pieces of this sort would be the addition of some personal experiences. For example, tell us about an experience in your life where the messages held within your poem came into question. Doing this, you will be able to build a stronger and more relatable bond with your readers.

    Once again, this blog was outstanding. Your writing continues to improve as time goes on and I look forward to reading more of your posts.

    Sincerely,
    Sidra Tirmizi

  3. Dear Madhav,

    This was a magnificently creative idea, and I believe you portrayed it in an equivalently magnificent way. Your words were purposeful in both the poem and its exposition, and I was able to follow your positive message smoothly throughout. It is not easy to find an uplifting piece that is relatable as many individual’s words or experiences are difficult to fully comprehend, but your inclusion of allusions, metaphors, and numerous other devices made it exponentially clearer.

    In terms of improvement, I don’t have many suggestions. The one thing I would like to mention, however, is perhaps giving your exposition a second read; I noticed some minor errors that can be corrected with ease. For instance, the first sentence of your exposition utilized two semi colons, making it quite long. A suggestion for editing I would give would be to change it to this: “[…] I believe that topics such as happiness and friendship should not be portrayed in a complicated manner; they are pure and universal. Everyone who reads this piece, from children to adults, should be able to understand the underlying theme and connect with these motifs.” Furthermore, I noticed you repeated the word “throughout” in the second sentence of your exposition– probably a typo, and easily fixable with a second read.

    Overall, I found this to be an authentic piece– true to your beliefs and considerate attitude. It’s interesting how two people, you and Sylvia Plath, are shaped from different experiences and different times that stimulate such diverse outlooks on the same world.

    Regards,
    Ayisha

  4. Dear Spencer, Sidra and Ayisha,

    Thank you all for your kind words! I’m so glad that you all were able to understand the message I was trying to exemplify through both my poem and my exposition. I spent hours carefully choosing every single word of the poem so that it flowed smoothly yet still had the unity that was similar to that of Sylvia Plath’s and I’m overjoyed to see that everyone found it an interesting and uplifting piece at a time where the world may seem dark.

    In terms of improvement I completely agree with everything that you have shared, from proof reading to adding more personal connections, both help improve my future writing!!

    Again thank you for reading and enjoying my piece, it means the world to me!

    Yours Truly
    Madhav

  5. Dear Madhav,

    This poem is truly magnificient and very enjoyable to read. The rhyming helps create a very nice flow and kept me interested throughout the lines. Its amazing how much you have grown as a writer considering how you had been confessing your concern for LA at the beginning of the semester.

    To improve, I would reccomend you change the rhyme scheme at some point in the poem, namely when you shift from one idea to another. For example between stanzas 5 and 6 of this poem you had a shift bu kept the rhyme scheme. By changing the pattern you emphasize the shift and makes your poem that much better.

    Overall a great piece and thanks for the great read.

    Regards, Vincent

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