You hear those words, you see those smiles,
you know their happiness but you don’t feel it.
Tears roll down your face, disappointment fills your heart,
no one to blame but yourself.
Time is running out, stress is crushing you,
everywhere you look doors are closing.
Thirteen years wasted, hundreds of hours spent anxious,
two weeks to fix it all.
It’s the time of year when graduation is right around the corner but also your last chance to get into post-secondary. And that is essentially what the poem is about. The first stanza is about others talking about their plans in post-secondary and how happy they are about getting in. But when you see everyone else being happy you yourself feel a sense of sadness because all those around you are one step closer to their dreams yet you still haven’t moved a step. The second stanza is the realization of knowing that nothing can be done to fix it and that leads to those tears and disappointment that you use to somehow try to relieve the pain. The last line in the second stanza says “no one to blame but yourself” and that is fact. At the end of the day, it was your life and your decisions that got you there. The third stanza speaks of the external factors as all of this is going on in one’s life. “Time is running out” literally means just that, you don’t have the time to fix anything because most post-secondary programs only accept entrance in the fall and classes are so close to ending it not much can be done to correct the mistakes that have been made throughout the years. At this point, all of the stress that has accumulated so far begins to come crashing down like an avalanche slowly crushing anything left. The final stanza speaks of all time spent in the last 13 years were all for this final year and because of that, it causes great amounts of anxiety throughout the year. With only weeks left to fix a problem that has accumulated over months doesn’t seem possible so it is better that you accept your failures now and move on.
The poem I wrote depicts my life and the course that it is currently on. Post-secondary was always a dream my parents had for me and in the beginning, I hated the idea of going to school for another 4 years only to get a piece of paper saying “You might get a job if you’re lucky”. Yet as a grew older the more I wanted it, the more interesting learning became and slowly my idea on the whole idea began to shift. Even with that shift it still wasn’t enough. Even if all the doors are closed for as of now a new one will open soon enough.