Personal Polished Response

Can Honor and Certainty Ever Return?


      When an individual commits a crime by no proper intentions it can give them grief and hardships for the rest of their lives. His honor is lost and he becomes very uncertain about his existence. In “from Redemption” by John Gardner, the main character Jack Hawthorne suffers from extreme guilt and regret after accidentally running over and killing his younger brother David.

      Though Jack’s family was there to support him, it did not help speed up his healing process. The quote “Working the farm, ploughing, cultipacking, disking, dragging, he had plenty of time to think-plenty of time for the accident to replay…”shows how since he was working on the farm a lot his mind was pretty much clear, which allowed the image of the accidental murder to repeat multiple times. All he did was rage and work. He felt as if he was incapable of loving properly He eventually rooted to playing an instrument which was the French horn. The only thing that truly helped ease the pain was playing the horn. I can relate to this because when you are not distracted you face reality and continue to contemplate the mistakes you have made, but when you find a distraction you resort to that distraction is order to rid the pain and give yourself time to relax and appreciate life. The distraction gives me a reason to continue living and also provides me with a sense of certainty. It helps create time so that I can control my emotions and help myself become more certain about life and feel more secure.

      Jack playing the horn helped create the realization of talent and strength. This talent will help him restore his honor since he is moving away from the negative side and creating a more positive side to reflect on his life. In order to create a more intense skill level he commuted to Arcady Yegudkin every Saturdays to learn lessons. This helped him restore his certainty by showing him that he now had a purpose. Seeing a graduate receive a brand new horn made him curious to if he was ever going to be as good and when the graduate student gave him a rude response, his instructor could see that Jack wanted to quit, but he did not allow it. Instead he calmly told the graduate student to leave and continued with the lesson. After the class it seemed like Jack was doubting himself so, the instructor asked him if he was attending next Saturday’s class to make sure Jack had not given up. When I make mistakes that can potentially affect my family, I cover it up by finding a new talent so the focus becomes this positive new talent compared to what I had done. It helps me become more certain about myself and it helps me build a purpose for my existence. It helps lead to acceptance and transfers my focus to more positive thoughts.

      Since Jack had committed a murder he may not ever be able to restore his honor unless he saves someone’s life, but even so he may not be able to be respected or seen as before. He may be able to restore his honor when he is older because it takes many years to revive that and he is also only a child. He can restore his own certainty because certainty is when an individual is free from doubt. When the years pass by he will slowly accept his mistake and realize that he cannot change fate. He cannot cover up murder but he can learn to replenish his spirit and become pure of his thoughts and emotions.

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