My Beautiful Adela,
I pray you will never see the horrors that I have seen
I pray that you will never know what I know.
I pray that you will never experience what I have experienced.
Adela, the only thing that keeps me going is the thought of coming home to you and the boys. How are Markas and Roland? Have they continued their studies? If you can, keep them out of Hitlerjugend for as long as you can. Soon, it will become mandatory, let them then, but only then. This is your responsibility now, your heart will tell you to fight. That’s what I love about you. Adela, you have a fire inside you that could never be extinguished. You are strong in your beliefs and those beliefs are true. However, the children are in your hands now. You must follow what Hitler declares, anyone who veers from his orders will die.
I can’t lose you.
The children can’t lose you.
The world can’t lose you.
Adela, my beautiful Adela, you are the light in my heart. You are the warmth in the cold of this world. You are what motivates me in this cruel place. The horrors that I have seen are unimaginable. I have seen babies, live babies, chucked into pits of flame.
I have seen families much like ours, lined up and shot, then thrown into pits.
I have seen lines of 1000 people long, lined up then walked to their deaths in the crematoria.
I have seen the Jews digging up the corpses of their dead and tossing them into the flame.
I have seen mothers and children wrenched apart, promising to find each other again.
Adela, I do not sleep at night anymore, I have so much blood on my hands. In my dreams, I see the faces of the people that I have killed. They are torturing my soul. I wait anxiously for the night I may come home to you and the children. The night I may sleep peacefully in your arms once again. Tell the children I love them, and that I miss them terribly. I love you too Adela, my beautiful Adela.
Here is a picture of where I am currently serving.