If only

A pain that has no cure

Doctors prescribe medications

Psychologists try to listen

Parents ask what’s wrong

Friends make you laugh

And at the end, all I feel is this pain

A pain that has no definition

Words mean nothing

Actions speak nothing

Dictionaries explain nothing

They know nothing

And at the end, all I feel is this pain

A pain that has no forgetfullness

Memories etched

Nightmares form

Tears shed

Till death

And at the end, all I feel is this pain

This pain is a pain that can not be seen nor is it a pain that can be empathized with others. This is a pain that is felt differently by every individual. This is a pain that can not be healed. Doctors try to fix a problem with pills only to find out they were useless. Psychologists try to find the cause of the pain but can not see that you are the cause. Parents ask expecting the truth yet I tell lies to protect them. Friends make jokes and laughs are heard all around but they never hear my laugh. If I wanted to I could not explain what this felt like. My words mean nothing when I try to explain. My actions speak as if they have been muffled. I try to look up meanings but every dictionary has the word erased. And when I ask others all they say is “I don’t know”. No matter how I try it can never be forgotten. These memories have been etched so they can never be erased. Nightmares form so even in my sleep I will always remember. Tears roll down my cheeks leaving behind their invisible streaks. The one thing I know for certain is that this pain will walk next to me, run next to me, and it shall die with me. At the end, all I feel is this regret.

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4 thoughts on “If only

  1. Dear Jimmy,

    First off, I want to say that I hope you are alright in spite of all the pain you are suffering through. However, I have faith that you will overcome whatever it is that is troubling you. Your story of pain is truly something I think we can all empathize with and relate too. After reading your post, I suddenly thought about the different kinds of pain individuals can suffer through: emotional and physical. In my understanding, emotional pain is something that can be overcome with mental strength. With enough willpower, you can endure any sort of mental hardship. On the other hand, the amount of physical pain you can tolerate is limited by your body’s limitations. Overall you piece was rather thought provoking and I thank you for that.

    To improve, I would suggest that perhaps you could have connected your sentences in your prose response to create better flow while reading. Right now it is rather choppy and the sentence structure is very short and basic. I would also recommend that next time in your prose response, rather than just reword every line in your poem provide us with more detail and deeper insight of your ideas and share with us your inspiration for the piece

    Regards, Vincent

  2. Dear Jimmy,
    I don’t know how I could possibly begin to explain how tragically beautiful that was. The pain you are talking about truly has no definition for it is a pain with no limitations. Bounded to nothing, this pain can linger and gradually increase or decrease without a notice; this pain is something I have felt before. Your poem was truly a lyrical piece that, stylistically, showed the topic you were talking about through your words but also through the spaces. The spaces left behind felt unfinished for, like you said, pain cannot be defined; however, I wish I could see more of you in it. This piece pierced the vail the pain hides behind but it’s missing a little bit more of you, though you do touch on it. Dive deep into yourself Jimmy and truly fill those spaces the pain that you find to be beside you. Write about your exact pain. Write about you, don’t hold back.

    Truly heart wrenched, Suneet

  3. Dear Jimmy,

    This was an amazing piece that you wrote. You have written this piece in a way in which we all can connect to. I really liked how you started off with a poem, it made me think about the experiences that I’ve had. And then you had a paragraph explaining everything you wrote to help connect the poem with your life. The photo really connected with your piece of writing too; it showed all the possibilities that could have happened in a scenario that could have made it better

    Although I really liked your piece, at a few parts it did feel choppy, like what Vincent said. With a better flow, the separate ideas you had could be put into one so that more individuals could have more of a connection to your writing. Also, I wanted it to be a little longer. With a little more writing, you could have wrote more things, like what you could do to overcome the hardships, or have a little bit more detail in your paragraph,

    Overall, I really liked this piece. Hopefully we can help each other become better writers this semester!


  4. Dear Jimmy,
    This piece of writing is very heartfelt, You descriptiveness really allows the readers to visual the type of pain you are feeling and going through it allows us to experience it with you. I really like how your topic is something everyone can connect to, and has experienced at least once.

    To improve I would say is at some points your flow was getting a little choppy, work on that and this will be better

    overall great piece and well written


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