Part 1- Never Shall I Forget, an emulation of Elie Wiesel
Never shall I forget that night
It was the last night at the hospital
It turned my nights sleepless and my days tiring
Never shall I forget that smell, the pungent odor of sanitized floors and a hospital waiting room.
Never shall I forget that sound, deep, muffled breaths with more and more spacing between, by the hour.
Never shall I forget that sight, N.G tube, weakened vessel.
Never shall I forget that taste, dryness, worry.
Never shall I forget that touch, a hand in the last breath.
That night was 1, with 2 months previous, anticipating wait
2 months, a staggering anomaly, a blip in a radar, and an otherwise minimal time compared to 17 years
17 years of upbringing and bonding, 17 years of love.
Never shall I forget that smell, rose bouquets bedside.
Never shall I forget that sound, spiritual hymns echoing through the room.
Never shall I forget that sight, the bond a brothers share, a dying man waiting to wish his older brother happy birthday before passing.
Never shall I forget that taste, the taste of “I love you” on the tip of my tongue
Never shall I forget that touch, his hand, last breath.
That night was 1, with 2 months previous, anticipating wait
2 months, a staggering anomaly, a blip in a radar, and an otherwise minimal time compared to 17 years
17 years of upbringing and bonding, 17 years of love.
Never shall I forget, that MAN.
Part 2- Purpose
I chose to share this piece publicly as a means to inspire and invite.
(To inspire: I wish to inspire, inspire a thought, an essay, a poem, or a complete rebuttal for my perplexed ideologies, I wish to inspire. Life itself, at its’ very core, is a whirlwind of situations which we get placed into and we, are the people we are – based on how we address them. Do we fight, run, argue, hide, or face the challenge? I want to know. I wish to inspire
To invite: I wish to invite you to tell me about your life. Whether you’re simply a travelling party only here in my life for a moment, or you’re here for a greater cause. I invite you to tell me about your life. Tell me about love and death. I wish to invite you. )
Part 3- Convoluted Ideas
I wrote this piece after many weeks of thought, yet this is raw and not edited. This is an artistic spin on the poem written by Elie Wiesel. The piece is written as an homage to a very close family member.
I noted how Elie used his own life experiences to share with other and the impact that a mans words can have.
Throughout the last few weeks I’ve felt an urge to create some sort of masterpiece, and I am still sadly not quite there. I feel that true beauty, the one true art, is the art of living. We live such busy lives trying to make the next memory, we often seem to forget what it is that makes us tick. I seem to be in a convoluted state of juxtaposing ideas -where I can either use my life as a muse and scratch the surface of artistic beauty, or continue to build that muse so that one day- I can dive in. Until then, I feel like a young Rumi waiting for Shams from Tabriz- longing for that conversation, but living for it.
Summary
This 3 part piece is written from the perspective of a man who has fell in love with expressing himself, but gotten his heart broken by life, all while trying to maintain himself, a bittersweet trifecta. ME, Myself, and I.
Dear Kahrun,
Your piece is absolutely beautiful. I was at a loss of words while reading through it. There’s a raw beauty shining through every word you wrote and with every sentence there’s an emotional tug on everyone’s heart. The fact that you were willing to make yourself vulnerable to the eyes of readers is empowering as it inspires others to share their own stories. The tone throughout the entire piece flows perfectly with the order of events and emotions you had to experience. This is truly commendable as it adds beauty and perfection to such a heart wrenching emulation.
Although this piece is nearly perfect, an improvement could be made through the structure in which you presented your ideas. Acknowledging the fact that the three distinct sections were intentional, I would suggest you leave off the words: part 1, 2, and 3 and simply just allow your titles to distinguish the three sections. (Ex. Instead of writing: part 2- purpose, only write purpose). Doing this could add more unity and sophistication to your writing.
Another suggestion that could be made would be a greater use of images. I for one would love to see a picture of the man you wrote about with you. Doing this would personalize your piece a little more.
Overall, your piece was amazing. I was intrigued with every line and I’m left hoping that you’ll write more pieces similar to this. By far my favorite part was the very ending of the blog and how it beautifully ties in with your title as well as the rest of the piece, It was truly a beautiful execution of emotion and love and has greatly inspired me to write more about my own experiences.
Thank you for sharing such a vulnerable experience with the class.
Best wishes,
Sidra Tirmizi
Dear Kahrun,
Reading this felt as if I had seen a part of you that I don’t see very often. The imagery in your poem was beautiful, It felt as if I was there in the room with you. I know how hard it can be for someone to open up about such an experience and it is even harder for an individual to go to such lengths to explain the emotion they feel yet you do. You show others that if you can open up then they can as well. To me, this was inspiring but also very inviting because of how open you were to your readers.
The only thing that I would suggest improvement would be “That night was 1, with 2 months previous, anticipating wait
2 months, a staggering anomaly, a blip in a radar, and an otherwise minimal time compared to 17 years
17 years of upbringing and bonding, 17 years of love.” I didn’t quite fully understand this, so perhaps a small explanation of this stanza because it seems very important but some readers may be slightly confused.
My only advice that I have for you for your masterpiece is that when you are writing it, make it something that will never be forgotten. It should be a piece that explores every emotion you every felt with your loved one. And when you this masterpiece finished I would be honoured if you would allow me to read it.